Things I am grateful for…
My healthy son. He is so lovely and dear to me. He makes mistakes, but I can live with them.
My husband- we are not always on the same page, but he is my forever man.
My friends- what could I do without you? listening to me, supporting me and loving me even though you may not be able to comprehend my pain. Always by my side- I cherish you!
My family- for loving me blindly!
The day I got to touch and see and hold my addict son for 20 minutes knowing it could always be my last.
I got to see my son that day. He looked healthier than I have seen him in years. It was so good- I balled my eyes out just seeing him and holding him in my arms again. That was Wednesday.
Yesterday (Friday) was horrible. It was to be my son’s first day at work. We received a call about 3 hours after his start time informing us he never showed up. I threw up. Not sure why I was so surprised- maybe not surprised, but I felt my hope crushed, pissed on, shit on…. Doesn’t matter if I suspected this might happen, but it crushed me none the less.
Several hours later we found out that they never let him out to go to work. An investigation is pending. He returned to the jail the night before 2 hours past checkin and he was locked down. Not sure where this will go. Today I feel spent- emotionally, physically , spiritually.
But once again, I have to pull on my big girl pants and find my happy.
I love this kid, totally, completely, unconditionally. He is my son-always.